Warning, this will be a female focused post, all male readers may want to move on.....
Unlike my mother, I decided long ago that pantyhose were definitely invented by the devil. They are tight, fragile and downright uncomfortable! I have opted over the years to go without, or wear tights. Tights are a bit like hose, but you could almost hike over barbed wire without making them run. This is a bonus if you are me; you see graceful isn't in my general make up, and I can ruin a pair of hose before even leaving the house.
The weather has began to change and it is getting cooler... alright totally cold! And I realized on Sunday that although I prefer tights, my dress style has changed and tights may not cut it anymore. I might have to look into purchasing ...PANTYHOSE.... they do look classy, and can help my old ham legs look sleek and lovely. I may need to learn how to be careful... Yeah, I can do this! Wearing pantyhose doesn't mean I've turned into my mother. I can still be hip and wear them, yeah, it will be OK.
OK? Today I was at Target picking up a few things and decided that now was as good a time as any to take the leap. I headed over to hosiery and abruptly stopped! An entire wall devoted to pantyhose? There were only two brands represented, but an entire 18 foot section was full of 'hose! I couldn't believe it! There were, of course, several colors, then the Reinforced Toe, Sandal Toe, Control Top, Knee Highs, Thigh Highs, etc., etc., and etc. I was perfectly prepared to choose from those selections. But then I noticed that there were also Energizing Hose,Circulation Hose, Wetness Wicking Hose, Cellulite Hose, and yes indeed, Hose with a Massaging Panty???
Unlike my mother, I decided long ago that pantyhose were definitely invented by the devil. They are tight, fragile and downright uncomfortable! I have opted over the years to go without, or wear tights. Tights are a bit like hose, but you could almost hike over barbed wire without making them run. This is a bonus if you are me; you see graceful isn't in my general make up, and I can ruin a pair of hose before even leaving the house.
The weather has began to change and it is getting cooler... alright totally cold! And I realized on Sunday that although I prefer tights, my dress style has changed and tights may not cut it anymore. I might have to look into purchasing ...PANTYHOSE.... they do look classy, and can help my old ham legs look sleek and lovely. I may need to learn how to be careful... Yeah, I can do this! Wearing pantyhose doesn't mean I've turned into my mother. I can still be hip and wear them, yeah, it will be OK.
OK? Today I was at Target picking up a few things and decided that now was as good a time as any to take the leap. I headed over to hosiery and abruptly stopped! An entire wall devoted to pantyhose? There were only two brands represented, but an entire 18 foot section was full of 'hose! I couldn't believe it! There were, of course, several colors, then the Reinforced Toe, Sandal Toe, Control Top, Knee Highs, Thigh Highs, etc., etc., and etc. I was perfectly prepared to choose from those selections. But then I noticed that there were also Energizing Hose,Circulation Hose, Wetness Wicking Hose, Cellulite Hose, and yes indeed, Hose with a Massaging Panty???
WHAT???
I couldn't believe my eyes, but it's true! Hanes makes all these pantyhose... Whatever happened to the little eggs? They were so fun, so easy to shop for, and so cheap. These new pantyhose range from $7.00-$16.00 per pair! Unbelievable! Another unsuspecting woman walked by on her quest to buy bulk knee highs... (FYI- they don't exist anymore) We began to laugh and discuss the varieties of hosiery. As we chit-chatted over our dilemma, I remembered feeling this way at one other time in my life....
As a young woman, when I began to shop the "personal products section," I had the same feeling of confusion and awe at all the choices. Long, Short, thin, Extra Absorbent, With Wings, Without... do these things really fly? Do these pantyhose really energize,massage, breathe, get rid of cellulite and circulate your blood?
All I want is for my legs to look sleek and nice... anyone else out there?
As a young woman, when I began to shop the "personal products section," I had the same feeling of confusion and awe at all the choices. Long, Short, thin, Extra Absorbent, With Wings, Without... do these things really fly? Do these pantyhose really energize,massage, breathe, get rid of cellulite and circulate your blood?
All I want is for my legs to look sleek and nice... anyone else out there?
YES!!! It's even harder when you are plus sized. I still stick to my black tights and knee highs (when I can get away with it) I think I have one pair of pantyhose? You have great legs though Cindy, so what ever you pick you will be fine. :)
ReplyDeleteCindy! I am cracking up! This is hilarious. And for the record...you have GREAT legs...I don't think you "need" pantyhose for anything :)
ReplyDeletePanty hose don't actually keep your legs much warmer than au' natural. Stick to the tights and buy yourself a new dress and shoes that go with them. There are actually a lot of really cute styles right now to go with leggings, and at $7 minimum a pair, you will save money in the long run.
ReplyDeleteFunny post Cindy! I wear panty hose, but only if I haven't shaved my legs...it's a quick fix on a sunday when I'm running late! I think I need to get a couple pairs of tights...it could make it more fun to wear skirts to work...
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny, because it's so true! I only wear pantyhose (aka nylons) in the winter, and luckily here winter is very short! Sometimes I hate variety. I just want a simple choice! I have the same problem every time I buy makeup--I have NO idea what to buy, or what brand for that matter. And paying that much for something that's likely to get a run the first time you wear them is no fun at all! Oh good news--I heard tights are in style this year.
ReplyDeleteI don't wear Panty hose :)
ReplyDeleteCindy, I know what you mean about pantihose and Target. They only sell the super high end versions. This is a case when Walmart is actually a necessity. They carry basic Leggs and Hanes and a few other brands. You can get a good pair of hose for usually under four dollars.
ReplyDeleteI don't get women going hoseless though. The other day I was clicking through the list of badly dressed stars that they have on MSN all the time. They really do show famous people in the most horrendous get ups, but what struck me was how horrible many of their bare legs also looked. You could see scabs, scars, bruises, red blotchy spots, even bigger red blotchy spots. In other words, even these famous women with their beautifully shaped legs looked really bad without some kind of leg covering. But of course the article that accompanied each picture didn't say a word about how ugly their legs looked because it's the new style.
Well, I say, The Emperor leg's are not only naked, they are also ugly.