As If Being Stuck In The Hospital Wasn't Bad Enough...

Cindy pointed out earlier that we're back in the hospital.

This is the 4th time this year.

Over these many visits, we've learned some things. Among other things, we've learned how things are designed to work. That has taught us to recognize when things are going horribly wrong.

I'm so mad about the way things have gone this go-round, that I've got to rant - to get it out of my system before I go back to spend another night.

RANT: ON!

When Cindy checked in with Danee on Sunday afternoon, in addition to the Albuterol nebulizer treatment, the ER doctor also administered a liquid oral steroid to help beef up Danee's lung performance. This was to be repeated roughly every 24 hours.

Monday afternoon, Danee was doing GREAT!! Happy, energetic, no supplemental oxygen, it looked like an easy overnight followed by a morning dismissal! Yee-Haw!

In the midst of this stellar performance, the nurse brought in the day's dosage of steroids. For some reason, she brought it in tablet form, which was crushed and put into some pudding.

Danee's no fool. She's been in da joint enough times to know that any foodstuffs that are soft and squishy are not to be trusted. She flat-out refused, and didn't take a single granule of her medicine. So the nurse said she'd order up a liquid, and we would continue down the happy path we were on. (FYI, I missed all of this - it was during my work time, when Cindy and Tyler were at the hospital)

I returned to relieve Cindy around 8:00 Monday night, and by that time the liquid medicine hadn't shown up yet. Unfortunately, she forgot to tell me that we were waiting on it. Danee was still super cute happy girl, ticking away the hours until she got to go home.

Cindy and Ty left around 8:30 - Danee and I settled in with a nice warm bottle and some quality Disney Channel to escort her off to dreamland. She chugged the bottle and started drifting off in my arms.

*BLURP*

And then she puked. Great. I didn't pack an extra shirt. Oh well, it's not TOO bad... I got her into some clean clothes and into bed, then rinsed my shirt in the sink. Almost immediately the alarm was going off that she didn't have enough oxygen in her blood.

Our night time staff was VERY supportive of sending us home in the morning, and if they had to put her on oxygen, that wouldn't happen. So every time the alarm would go off, we were poking, prodding and adjusting Danee so she'd take a big deep breath and silence the dinging. End result: Neither of us got any sleep. I finally lost the battle around 3am, and at 4, they put Danee on Oxygen. *Sigh* - another day.

It wasn't until Cindy showed up at around 10:30 this morning that I learned she had missed a (crucial) dose of her steroids. When we brought this up to the morning nurse, she looked in the computer and said, "No, it was given to her at 4:36 yesterday."

"No, she didn't touch that one, they were supposed to send in a liquid dose, but it never came."

"No, there's no order for a liquid dose, but she was given a dose at 4:36."

"No, she didn't TOUCH that one."

"She must have, because it says right here that it was administered at 4:36 yesterday afternoon."

*holding back urge to freakin' pummel this thick headed woman*

"No. She. Refused. That. Dose. Completely... And. There. Never. Was. Another. Dose. Offered."

(I swear I am not making this up)

"Well it says here that she got one at 4:36, so she didn't miss a dose."

At this point we realized there would be no reasoning with the steroid nazi, so we went to work on getting the NEXT dose here, in liquid form, ASAP. Which turned out to be about 5 hours later.

**INTERMISSION**

That was just the first of our oh-so-frustrating moments today. Stay tuned for more. The last one will make your jaw drop...

Need computer repair? Don't Stall! Call Tech Services 4 All!

Wow. Shameless. Truly shameless. But since I can't work during all this crap, I gotta do something!!

**END INTERMISSION**

Hi, welcome back. Is your computer running smoothly? So another super neat thing happened between yesterday and today, that's causing us to refer to much of yesterday as the black hole. Or the day that time forgot. I dunno, we're still working on a good name for it. But yesterday morning, Danee's lungs were, according to the doctors, not sounding asthmatic, but were instead sounding plugged. I mentioned that the first two times we stayed at their fine establishment, that was the exact problem, and that it was fully cured by nebulizer treatments of a 3% saline solution. (as opposed to the .9% that is a standard saline, which matches our tears) The docs agreed that it was an excellent idea, and almost immediately, I had Danee in my lap with the nebulizer mask on, and she was coughing loose the gunk in her lungs.

It felt good to know that things were moving in the right direction! And a few hours later, she was feeling so much better that we were all kinds of excited!

Guess what? That dose of 3% Saline never got recorded in the computer. If you made it through part one of this rant, you know that the computer is the end-all answer to everything in MultiCare land. (MultiCare is the nearly sole proprietor of health services in Pierce and South King Counties, and owns the hospital we're in.)

That meant that this morning, when the same EXACT situation was being reported in her lungs, and I again suggested the good old 3% treatment, absolutely nothing happened. Because it wasn't in her chart. It hadn't been done this go-round. There were no orders for it. All this from the same nurse who still swears that Danee got her Monday afternoon steroid.

I requested this treatment between 7 and 8 in the morning. It was finally administered at 3 in the afternoon. I'm glad nobody rushed into anything on our baby's behalf.

By this time, even though Danee had been drinking plenty of fluids and peeing plenty of wet diapers, we all agreed that an I.V. would be the best way of administering her remaining medications, so it wouldn't depend on getting past the very powerful rejection mechanism that is her mouth.

The I.V. was inserted while I was out of the room, but when I came back it looked good. Hadn't been hooked up to anything yet, but it looked like a good clean install. We've seen some bad ones, so we know these things now.

An hour or so later, I went to sit in the chair / couch / bed thing where I've lived the last couple days, and saw something between the seat cushion and the arm of the chair.

When I pulled it out, my jaw dropped, and I very well may have shot blood from my eyes.

It was another I.V. needle. Thankfully, it was brand new and still in its sterile packaging.

But that sterile packaging was meant to be opened quickly and easily, and our baby is a MASTER at opening things that she isn't supposed to get into. If she had found that instead of me or Cindy, she would have VERY easily started playing doctor on herself with it.

We showed it to our nurse, who didn't seem particularly concerned, just took it, dropped it in the hazardous materials bin, and left the room again.

So by 6:00 Tuesday evening, Danee's lungs sound as bad as they did when she got there Sunday afternoon. A missed dose of medicine could very well have prevented her returning to that state - maybe not, but missing it certainly didn't help... There's no end in sight to our stay at the Mary Bridge Suites... Puddle Jumpers has managed to stay open through the VERY appreciated help of assistants, friends, and our awesome daughter Ellysa... Tech Services 4 All operated on a skeleton basis Monday, but did nothing today... and did I mention that there's no end in sight yet?

At least Wednesday promises to bring the results from the Cystic Fibrosis test that was administered today. We're all praying very hard for a negative result. We would appreciate you joining us in this effort, and in praying for a quick and full recovery of our sweet little babygirl.

Thanks for reading... and if you ever need pediatric care, I hope you are fortunate enough to go to a non-MultiCare facility.

My little Soap Box.....

(By Cindy Brinkerhoff - from Keeping Up With The Brinkerhoffs) - if you don't see the pics, just click on over!


My Parents Drugged Me!
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6



"The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question: 'Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?'

"I replied, 'I had a drug problem when I was young! I was drug to church on Sunday morning.
I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.
I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.
I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad
report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put
forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.
I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.
I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower-beds and cocklebur's out of dad's fields.
"I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no
one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever
known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.
"Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think.
They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem,
America would be a better place."


God bless the parents who drugged us.


-- Author Unknown --

Geek Out - An Open Letter To Pandora

(By Mike Brinkerhoff - from Keeping Up With The Brinkerhoffs)

Dear Pandora,

You've certainly done well for yourself. In a very short time, you've become the darling of the web-radio world, and your name has become synonymous with streaming music over the Internet. You're the "Kleenex" and the "ipod" of your field.

Congratulations.

Oh yeah, also, I hate you.

Hear the gasps from your legions of brainwashed minions? They think I just committed blasphemy. How could I hate Pandora?? After all, it was created to put the power of the "Music Genome Project" into the hands of the everyman.

Well, don't get me started about your precious music genome project... Because it's crap. Oh sure, in theory it's a cool idea. But music, especially to those who truly love and know it, contains complexities that approach those of the Human Genome. And that took many many years, and many many supercomputers to unravel. And even now that it's been mapped out, nobody's quite sure what to do with it. So take your kindergarten project-level music genome project, and get back to work.

I first met you, Pandora, more than three years ago. There was a buzz building about this great new website where you tell it an artist or song that you like, and then it entertains you for hours with music that is similar to what you started with.

I was so intrigued!

Until I actually logged on. I was in a mood for some good old fashioned Power Pop. I wanted upbeat, energetic music with guitars and drums cranked up to eleven, and I hoped you could introduce me to some new purveyors of powerful pop.

I started my quest with The All-American Rejects. I wanted to hear songs in the vein of "Dirty Little Secret" or "Swing, Swing". The first couple selections were promising, but then you started slipping in the same pathetic crap I had to listen to on the radio at work every day. When Eve 6's "Inside Out" came on, I hit that "Thumbs Down" button less than a second into the song.

You responded by apologizing, and saying you wouldn't play it again.

Cool! Except that the next song was by Nickelback. Seriously. Come on, Pandora, if I wanted to hear that bland, tired, overplayed crap I'd go turn on Star 101.5. You're supposed to save me from that nonsense!!

After a few attempts at salvaging my station, I gave up and tried to forget about you. But then a few weeks ago, my car flooded and the only casualty was the sound system. While I await to see if Santa can help me out, I drive in silence... Except that I hate driving in silence! So I reluctantly clicked on the Pandora icon on my phone. The half-inch speaker of the Palm Pre does a surprisingly good job of filling the silence, which was a pleasant surprise.

But it's not surprising, that I'm finding that the silence has many advantages.

It's Christmas Time. I love Christmas Music. I've tried many of your preset Christmas stations, and I've made some of my own. As a direct result, I'm not really feeling the love for Christmas Music anymore. Out of a 5 song sequence, it's VERY likely you'll hear the same song twice. It may be a different artist, but it will be "Winter Wonderland" again and again and again.

My favorite (and of course, by "favorite," I mean "un-favorite") example was hearing the same song, by the same artist repeated with only one song between, because it was featured on two different compilation albums. Wow, that music genome project is sure powerful!

The bottom line, Pandora, is that you suck.

And if you sucked a little less, I might just hate you a little less.

Love, Mike.

100 Days

I really try not to go political on here... I think this may be my 2nd ever political post, out of more than 500 since September 2006.

But listening to the lunacy and pageantry surrounding the 100th day of Obamunism, while my own eyes see quite a different reality, I can't stay quiet.

What has the first 100 days brought us?

Well, "we the people" now own majority stakes in several large banks.

"We the people" fired the president of General Motors after lending them amounts of money much smaller than the aforementioned banks, whose leaders are still rewarding themselves for how clever they are.

"We the people" topped that feat by the latest news that we will soon own 50% or more of General Motors.

"We the people" can expect to see our "Dear Leader" tomorrow, announce that Chrysler is filing Chapter 11, and will end up being at least 50% owned by the good old U.S. Government. If the U.S. President is the one making the announcement, it seems that the transfer of ownership has already taken place.

What kind of sense does this make? In all 40 of my years, it's been common knowledge that if you want something done inefficiently, let the government do it. So you take an already outdated and lethargic U.S. Auto Industry, and the cure is to transfer ownership to the government? I tried for ten minutes to come up with a witty/funny/biting remark to end this paragraph, but I'm literally speechless.

In the midst of all that, we're told that the U.S. Economy is far too fragile to actually do anything about the Mexican Flu that's sweeping the world. Yes, I called it by its place of origin. Nobody gets offended by the Spanish Influenza of nearly 100 years ago, or the various Asian flu strains that have gone around for years. Dear Leader may want to call it m1h1eiei90210, but I'll settle for the Mexican Flu. Why break from flu-naming tradition?

Oh, but that economy isn't so fragile that we can't afford to invest in some quality publicity shots... Like an un-announced close proximity fly-by of the Statue of Liberty and the rest of NYC by Air Force One and a pair of fighter jets... Gosh, to the unwashed masses on the ground, you couldn't see that it was AF1, just a good old American Made 747. Flying close to buildings. Being flanked by fighter jets.

Panic Ensued.

But that's okay, it was for a good cause! Surely Dear Leader would cherish a framed photograph of his main ride kissing Lady Liberty!!

Besides, it was a bargain - the cost came in under $400,000!! I'm assuming we'll all get free copies of the picture, since it was "We The People" paying the bill.

And finally, my righteous rage is bubbling over about "The First U.S. Death Due To The Mexican Flu." Never mind that the victim was a Mexican Citizen, who was brought to the U.S. by parents hoping for quality medical treatment.

I have the deepest sympathy for the parents. I can't even imagine the agony they'd been going through that led to the tragic ending.

But seriously, "The Media"... It's not the first U.S. death. The first U.S. death will be the first U.S. resident / Citizen who succumbs to this horribly contagious flu.

If you're still with me, you should definitely let off some steam by getting prepared for the pandemic that's only one-notch-away from reality on the WHO's ranking system.

Our blog-buddy Jan put together a flu-pandemic survival kit last summer, and being way better than we are at staying on top of things, her blog right now is a treasure-trove of good information and tips for weathering the storm.

Click Here for a good primer, or just go straight to her front page where you'll undoubtedly find more good stuff.

Wow, only 265 days left in this year. Wonder what "We the People" will own by then...

Geek Out! - Hatin' on itunes, The Sequel

*note* I'm a technology geek. I sometimes want to ramble on about geeky stuff that probably nobody else will care about, since you're all here to see the latest family updates... So when I'm about to go geeksplosive, I'll mark the posts Geek Out!, and you can just know to move along. Fair? I thought so!

Don't worry, there are lots of new Danee pics and other family news, which'll be up here soon! *end note*

It's been a while since I've unleashed my righteous rage against apple's scamtastic itunes empire, and if you've missed my geek'd out ranting, today's your lucky day!

Since it has been a while, you may have missed the first round... If that's true, and you're wondering why on Earth the normally level-headed and incredibly handsome Mike would be pouring haterade all over the sweet and fluffy apple, just click here. It's all explained. Then come back here and join the rest of the class. I'll wait...

Hi, welcome back!! I hope you learned something, maybe had an eye opening experience back there. Anyway, here's what's happened since I wrote that optimistic tribute to Amazon's mp3 store:

Amazon was successful in bringing all the major record labels on board, so now there's not much domestically released music that can't be found there, in deliciously unrestricted mp3 files! Earlier this year, apple finally made all of itunes DRM-Free, removing the restrictions but keeping their pesky aac file format. In 2009, there are more music players that know how to play aac than there were in 2007 when I wrote that last article, but it's still just an annoying complication in a world where "mp3" MEANS digital music.

Also since we last talked, Internet speeds have steadily risen, to where now video is being as commonly downloaded as audio was a couple years ago. There are several ways to get movies on demand over the 'net now, with Netflix offering an outstanding service to computers, xBox 360, Tivo and other set-top boxes. If you haven't tried it, it's my favorite aspect of having a Netflix account! I can add a movie to my "Instant Watch" queue, then go over to the Tivo, and it's there in the list, ready to watch right now! You get unlimited movies with your $9.99 plan, in addition to the DVDs. The quality is great - I haven't had any complaints in the last few months of watching them. My only complaint is that the selection of instant-watch movies is limited compared to what's on DVD. That, undoubtedly will change.

Netflix isn't the only player in the online movies game, just the best. There are several other companies including Amazon, offering the same concept. The itunes store is one of them. Through there, you can "rent" a movie for $5, or "buy" a standard-def movie for $15. A few days ago, they added hi-def movies for $20.

Okay, already I'm irritated with the whole thing! $15 is the price for a movie on DVD. $20 will get you a Blu-Ray disc. Colour me cheap, but I can't justify paying the same price for a download with no disc, no case, no liner notes, no special features, and so on. But I'll admit, that's me. Other people may not have any issues with that, and they're welcome to spend $20 on a downloaded movie.

But they'd better have a brand-spankin' new monitor hooked up to their computer if they want to watch their new hi-def entertainment in itunes, which is the only way you can watch it...



Meet HDCP. High-bandwidth Digital Content Protection. It's a system that ensures that the movie you're playing, is going to a dead-end in your monitor, and not being funneled out to a recording device. If they could find a way to ensure that only one set of eyeballs watches it, they'd add that in a heartbeat. Now watching content you've paid for is dependent on having the right kind of monitor and of course, the right kind of cable connecting it.

HDCP wasn't invented by apple, but they're among the first companies to use it to block consumers from using the content they've paid for. Conveniently, Apple would be happy to sell you a new HDCP compliant monitor...

My point? With the Netflix streaming service, I can watch movies on my computer or my Tivo, and it just works. apple has made a legacy out of ads mocking Windows for being hard to use, while their mac systems "just work".

Well, they "just work" as long as you keep re-buying your systems to stay caught up with the latest restrictive technology.

I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again - don't buy from itunes. There's way too much control involved, and none of it is in your hands.

You Have GOT To Be Kidding Me

When my alarm went off at 4:30 this morning, there was a lot of talk about snow up in Bellingham, and even as far south as Seattle.

I had to take Ellysa to super-early-morning water polo practice, so I got up and looked out the window - No snow whatsoever at our house!

Dropped her off at the pool, and headed for the Y for racketball. Turned on the news... And they were doing a school report. No mention of Tacoma schools, so Andy and the daycare will be on regular schedule. But Ellysa and Kaylee are in neighboring University Place schools...

And U.P. announced that they were opening two hours late.

WHAT???

There was NO snow. There was ice on the cars, but not enough on the roads to even make you walk cautiously. The little traction-control indicator light on the van didn't come on even once as I drove all over this morning.

When I got back from the Y, here's what our front yard looked like.



Oooh, treacherous, no??

Well maybe it's because the sky looks like it's ABOUT to dump a blizzard out on us.

Maybe?



Um, no.

Your eyes aren't deceiving you, and I didn't do any photochoppery on that pic, that really is a clearing in the cloud cover.

And don't worry, that's not snow on the roofs of those houses, just frost.

As I drove in to work, I saw approximately twenty-five snowflakes.

THAT IS MORE THAN TWO DOZEN, PEOPLE!!!

It's a very good thing that U.P. schools took the extra two hours this morning. These conditions were far too treacherous to navigate at regular school hours.

Going Pharmaceutical Is The New Going Postal

Our sweet little Babykins is TOTALLY our baby...

Born with a full head of dark hair... (like Daddy)

Has a REALLY hard time waking up... (like Mommy)

Latest round of evidence? She has really bad acid reflux (like Daddy), which we're told is pretty common among preemies. Rather than simply feel heartburn, or waking up gagging on stomach acid, she does an awful lot of spitting up. Her doctor prescribed Baby Zantac to treat it.

Today I dropped the prescription off at Target's pharmacy during my lunch hour, so I could pick up the meds on my way home from work.

Lunchtime is a busy time at the pharmacy! While standing in line, I surveyed the staff behind the counter. Three people I recognize, two of whom I enjoy working with. Naturally, it's the third one who called me to her station. Things went surprisingly smooth with the dropoff, even though this was Danee's first 'script, so she was a new patient.

On my way home from work, I stop back in to pick it up. There was a much shorter line this time, but I still waited a couple minutes for someone to become available. The two people I enjoy were still there, along with the one who had helped me earlier today. That trio was joined by a couple others who look like they were brought in from ...well, maybe they came from the Pizza Hut Express or something. They weren't wearing the normal Red Shirt / Khaki Pants uniform, and looked more than a little confused.

The more-confused looking one was so eager to help me, that while I was still standing back from the counter waiting my turn, she yelled over to me, "Can I Help You?"

Now I know that my last name is long. Trust me, as a first grader, learning to write my name, I knew that Brinkerhoff has eleven long letters. But as time has gone by, I've come to also realize that all eleven of them serve a purpose. It's not like there's a silent Q in there or anything!

However, I also know that people on the back-end of a service counter nearly always have trouble with my name. So I said, very clearly, "Pickup for Brinkerhoff, please." (note how polite I was!)

Very Confused Girl smiles and says OK, then turns and heads right for the "R" section of the pickups. Having gone through this before, I offered up, "With a 'B'".

Same vacant smile, then an about face to the B section. She shuffled through all the waiting bags, talked to the pharmacist, went back and rifled through the Bs again, and then turned to me. "What's the first name on that?"

"Danielle," I answer. "I dropped it off at noon today for a 5:00 pickup."

Again with the rifling. And the consulting with the pharmacist... Then back to me.

"So the last name's 'Bickenhoss"?

(never mind that originally she was going to the R section... maybe she thought it was Rickenhausse?)

I know this may not seem so bad to someone who didn't live it. But by this point, I had about 23 evil plots brewing in my mind, each competing for the next round, American Idol style, until finally one of them emerged and was carried out upon the fool who was wasting my precious post-work evening, delaying me from getting home and getting comfortable with my family... So it was with great restraint that I said slowly and distinctly, and only a little bit through my teeth, "BRINK. ER. HOFF. B. R. I. N. K..."

Watch the news. Pharm-Rage is undoubtedly due to be the next big trend.

(yes, eventually I did get my baby's medicine)

Why I Blog

My cousin Marilyn did a tribute to blogging last week, and I'm borrowing her logo graphic for this post. I've written several times about how many great things I've experienced through blogging, the greatest of which is all the family members I'm growing close to after way too many years of no real communication. I've been there... No sense going there again right now!

But what I have been thinking about, that I haven't really talked about before, is why I like blogging better than the other social web stuff that's always coming and going.

For example: I had a myspace account for about 30 minutes. Hated hanging out there so much that I cancelled it less than an hour after creating it. There were several things I hated about it - for one thing, there seemed to be an overall feeling of "ick" to it. Like hanging out at WalMart. Or worse. And then there is the fact that myspace and its addicts have gone a long way to kill the web with painfully bad visual design. A fair amount of that has crept into the blog world too... When I go to a blog that has a really busy layout, say a static picture that's not toned down at all, and then has text floating above it, that's just barely two shades lighter or darker than the prevailing color of the background, and you have to scroll the text up and down to get it to stay over the parts of the background that you can actually see it against... It's pretty close to seizure inducing - certainly maddening, and bad enough that I excused myself from that party a couple years ago, when the 'space was at the peak of its popularity.

These days, the big big thing is Twitter. I don't have nearly as many reasons to explain why I'm not Twitterpated, but it really just boils down to a "so what" attitude. I really haven't ever said to myself "I wish I could let anyone and everyone know what I'm doing minute to minute."

If you're not familiar with the Twitter, it's like text messaging for the web. Messages have a really small size limit, and its claim to fame is that it's so easy and quick to let people know what you're up to, that you can update it for every little mundane thing. Being the "IT!" application right now, there are many people who literally live on it. While I've never created my own account, I've seen several other people's Twitter feeds highlighted - and sometimes ridiculed - on other blogs or sites. None of those have made me want to sign up and join the TwitterNation. No bad blood to those who do - it just gets a big "meh" from me.

A couple years ago I wrote about how irritating classmates.com is to deal with. For years, they had the "what ever happened to that guy I went to school with" market cornered, and despite the huge amounts of advertising interspersed within all the lists of possible classmates, they also charge what always seemed to me to be ridiculous fees to actually communicate with any long lost friends. I did get re-acquainted with my high school best friend Scott through there, but I'm pretty sure we would have gotten in touch by now anyway, thanks to the other current big thing, that often runs hand-in-hand with Twitter.

I'm talking, of course, about Facebook.

I first created a Facebook account several years ago. I never actually went there, or used it for anything, but a friend had invited me, and since I'd never heard of it at the time, I signed up to see what it was all about.

In the years since, it's grown and grown, and now just about everyone in the world is on Facebook. (obviously exaggerating here, but not by too much) My aforementioned friend Scott and I keep in tough through Facebook, which is good because I will certainly never give classmates another thin dime of my money. Why would I, when virtually everyone I went to school with is on Facebook for free?

So Facebook has some pretty great things going for it...

So why don't I like it?

I know that a couple months ago, several of my blogging cousins and friends started dipping their toes into the Facebook waters, and it was abruptly stopped by a well timed email virus that did a fair amount of damage to their systems. While I'm willing to bet that the offending email and virus didn't actually come from FB, it did enough PR damage to scare them off.

But that's not what I don't like about it.

What I don't like about Facebook, is that it's too much like a Super-Sized Twitter, which also has the benefits of being able to post pictures, videos and other things you like to share. Most people link their Twitter account to their Facebook, so that their seemingly insignificant "What Am I Doing Right Now?" feed is published in both places for even more to see.

But if that's all it was, I wouldn't mind. Sometimes it's fun to know that Rob is worshipping his iphone again, or that Glen is suffering with 100 degree heat at 9:00 in the morning. And there's no denying that it's kind of exciting to get an alert that someone from high school, whose name you haven't heard for years, stumbled upon you and wants to be Facebook Friends. Of all the aspects of FB, that's the one that has most captured my interest, and kept me coming back.

But...

Once re-connected with people that I haven't seen in over 20 years, and who - and this applies to the vast majority of them - I really never had anything in common with anyway, other than that our parents bought houses in the same community, and we probably liked some of the same music, but I tend to think there's a reason we didn't stay in touch after graduation... Anyway, once re-connected with these people, your Facebook news feed quickly fills up with not only their usually innocuous status updates, but also what I call app-spam, updates from the hundreds of applications running on the site.

So while scanning down to see cool tidbits like Rachel having an exciting countdown of some sort, I have to sift through 25 different announcements that:

[NAME YOU VAGUELY RECOGNIZE] Has Just Moved Up A Level In Mob Wars!!

OH. MY. GOSH. There is NO WAY I could have gone through this day without knowing that.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!

[ANOTHER NAME OF SOME PERSON] Has Sent You A Piece Of Flair!!

Well, it's a GOOD THING that I took my thyroid medicine this morning, otherwise I wouldn't be able to keep up with the excitement of GETTING SOME FLAIR!!

Wow.

Luckily, you can adjust the "newsfeed" to show more or less of the types of things you do or don't want to see. I've done that. It's quited things down a lot. And you know what I've found?

I can go three or four days without checking in, and when I do again, the items that were most recent at my last check, are only maybe a quarter of the way down the page. If I had all the "OH WOW, SOMEBODY IS GOING ON ANOTHER DRAGON QUEST!" noise pouring in, it would be the other way around. It's amazing how high the noise-to-signal ratio is.

I do check in once every day or two, because like I said, there are a lot of people there that I don't see anywhere else, and they occasionally have something worthwhile going on, like Glen's heatwave. And I have my blog imported to my FB, which works out well because that's where Scott (high school best friend) reads it, and comments on it, and we converse back and forth.

But it amazes me that through its premise of bite-sized chunks of info, FB has lulled the masses into thinking they have time to hang out there. After all, you rarely see more than two lines of text from any one person at any given time. But I think people would be, and ultimately will be amazed when they suddenly realize how much time they're devoting to what is 95% utter nonsense.

Getting back to the title of this post...

I blog because I can put several thoughts together, and occasionally go on rants like this. I then share my multiple thoughts with other people who also enjoy non-bite-sized chunks of info - people who also write down full length thoughts, which I enjoy reading. It's a pretty cool thing!

Plus, there are several companies out there who will take your blog and publish it into a keepsake book, a real journal of your life, which will last beyond the craze of online publishing, or Twittering, or texting... Something you can put in a time capsule for your children and/or grandchildren. Something real.

Holy Crap, I sound OLD!!

Over the past few months, I've realized that despite the other options out there, this blogging thing is cool, and is what I like to do.

Thank you Marilyn, for inspiring me to take a closer look at it.

Oh, and Marilyn has a brother, my cousin Mitch. He's not one to ever let a mockable moment go by, so this week he paid tribute to his sister's previous week's blog-love-fest with his own modified logo...



It was cool last week. And it's cool this week, and I'm guessing it'll still be cool next week.

Surprise... Another Delay.

It's 8:52.  

In eight minutes, the procedure to grant us guardianship of Danee should begin.

It SHOULD begin, but it won't.

Remember that picture I posted last night that showed how much snow was on our front walkway?  Well, this morning there was about a 50% increase.

That's right, we went from 1/4" of snow, to 1/2" of snow.  Maybe.

As a result, all court proceedings have been cancelled.

To top things off, nobody called and told us, so Cindy braved the treacherous elements and made it to the courthouse.  Based on my drive in to work this morning, I'd venture a guess that she made it to the courthouse without any slipping, sliding or panic attacking.  Considering that the worst streets between our house and the courthouse are right in our neighborhood.. Once you cross from Fircrest into Tacoma, the de-icers have very clearly been busy.

We don't know what happens next.  One person says we'll have to wait until January 2.  Another says we'll try again Monday.

Keep in mind, this was SUPPOSED to be handled back on December 5th.

We're still 100% confident that we'll GET the guardianship and adoption granted.  It's just the matter of WHEN, and that matter is getting more and more urgent, as Danee continues to be the SuperStar of the Nursery, motoring her way toward being released.  Oh, and her grandma's leaving today for a week in the Caribbean.  And her biomom is going to California in a few days.  

Her soon-to-be-adoptive parents (ie: US) meanwhile, have been at the hospital every day since she was born, and will continue to.  We just don't have any actual claim to her, and at this point are praying that she's going to STAY in the hospital until either this court thing gets wrapped up, or Grandma gets back.

Frustrated?   You bet we are.

Hatin' on Walmart

We interrupt the non-stop Danee news to bring you this special rant! Yes, a rant! Right here in December! It's inspired by my friend Scott, linked on the blog bar to the left... He's a manger of a Hastings store in Eastern Washington. And he posted a Walmart story the other day that was completely typical of my dealings with the big W, and I commented on it as such. Then today, someone else left a comment defending them because of the great levels of community support they've shown her. (she works in a drug & alcohol rehab facility, and they've been huge supporters.) It made me want to clarify my feelings on Walmart. Unlike most who complain about them, I really don't care about their labor practices or how they're running everyone else out of business.

Plus, I haven't had a good rant in quite a while, and I think it's time to let one out!

First off, I'm actually a supporter of Walmart in general. I've heard several stories like the one mentioned above, about the community support they do, and think that whatever other atrocities they're guilty of, those are at least partially made up by these charitable actions. Take a moment to think about how many companies were considered "top notch" just a few months ago, but have now been exposed as giant fraud machines?

And yet Walmart marches on, being one of the very few chains to report increased sales this past November.

A couple years ago, Walmart wanted to put a store in our little town of Fircrest. Almost immediately, attorneys from Seattle jumped all over it. They letter-bombed the city with horror stories, stirring up enough local zealots - and local politicians always looking for the zealot vote - that it got shut down. The plot of land they wanted to build the store on still sits vacant, as it has pretty much forever. There's nothing built on it, never has been. It's not bringing in any tax revenue for our city. Walmart has a store just south of here, only a couple minutes further for me, and the city of Lakewood gets all that sweet, sweet tax revenue.

The first thing I say when I hear my city council complaining about budget issues, is to firmly remind them just how proud they were to run Walmart out of town.

Meanwhile, several nearby businesses - the ones we were warned would immediately fail if we let Walmart into our town, have failed all on their own. My beloved Mad Jack's Ice Cream is one of them. It sits just down the street from the proposed site. I honestly don't think anyone would say "I'd like some incredible, gourmet, homemade ice cream. Let's go to Mad Jack's! Oh wait, there's Walmart - go there instead." I think it's far more likely that people who don't currently drive up and down Mildred Street would have passed Mad Jack's on their way to or from Walmart, and thought "Oooh, that looks interesting... Let's get ice cream!"

I'm not saying Walmart would have saved Mad Jack's, I'm just saying small businesses are struggling all over, and the problems run a lot deeper than Walmart.

That said...

I hate - HATE - shopping at Walmart. I hate everything about the stores. It's like when I was a kid, and had never even heard of Walmart, but there were K-Marts. And I hated them. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was just something ...icky.. about them. Like I needed to take a shower after going in there. Walmart gives me the same vibe, and always has. When they opened their first western Washington stores in Auburn and Renton, I was excited to finally be on the "always low prices" bandwagon.

Until I went into the store.

But the overall atmosphere is just part of it. When you add to that, the caliber of people that you find shopping, AND working there, you begin to get a picture of why I try not to go there if I can help it.

I'm not an elitist. I have no problem doing life with people lower than me on the socio-economic ladder. Or higher than me. I really don't care. But I have a big problem sharing space with the filthy, rude, completely selfish nature of the "typical" Walmart shopper. Just look at Scott's story, or The Donald's story (one of many), or this classic Walmart Bingo game - which you'd think was obscenely sarcastic, but instead, it's frighteningly accurate.

And let's not forget the horrible, tragic death-by-stampede that took place last Friday. It seems like every year there's a stampede resulting in either a death, or serious injury. And they never seem to happen at Best Buy.

THOSE are the reasons I hate Walmart. I scoff at people who call them "The Evil Empire". That's just nonsense. If you don't like them, don't shop there! Capitalism works, folks... When they do end up offering a deal that's better-enough than Fred Meyer or Target, I'll go there and take advantage of it.

Last Christmas, when I was looking for a heated mattress pad for Cindy, my top two retailers were sold out. Walmart had racks and racks of them, probably because they were merchandised so poorly that three "associates" I talked to couldn't find them, and decided that they didn't carry them. When I asked to speak to a manager, he confirmed what they had told me. Luckily, I ran into a friend on my way out of the store, and she told me that she'd just gotten one not too long ago, and that they were by the water heaters.

Yes, the water heaters. Not the bedding. The water heaters.

Classic Walmart merchandising. Classic Walmart employees.

That's it for this rant. Stay tuned because coming up next, we'll be back to Wall to Wall Baby Danee Coverage!

Sometimes, Maybe It IS Your Fault

Ahh, the radio at work. Next to my sister Susan, it's one of my most consistent sources for blogging inspiration! No need to worry, we're still tuned in to JACK, so I'm not suffering through the world's smallest and most annoying playlist (aka star 101.5) anymore. But while Jack's playlist is immense and mostly good, they still sell airtime to any fool with an open wallet... And lately, there are more and more commercials that use the same phrase... It's started to sound like that old classic, Fingernails on the Blackboard.

The phrase is "It's Not Your Fault!"

It's EVERYWHERE!

If you've tried to lose weight but are still fat, don't worry - IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

You want a fancy new laptop? All your friends have them but you can't afford one? IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

Are you mired in credit card debt? Well, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

The thing that's really getting rough is that all three of those commercials play on nearly every commercial break, all day long. As I listen to the soothing, understanding voices explain why THEY can make everything better - and transform you into a skinny, out of debt, laptop owner, I can't help but ponder our nation's - and the world's - financial situation.

How did we get here? A large part of it started with people who didn't have enough income to afford a house, and couldn't save up a down payment because, well, it IS hard to save up a bunch of money. But through the miracle of "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!", they were handed out home loans they couldn't afford. SOME of the loan recipients probably COULD have afforded their loans, IF they curbed ALL frivolous spending. An even smaller portion of those people probably even tried to, cutting out the daily trip to Starbucks, maybe switching to generic cigarettes... But without a ton of discipline, those habits creep right back into the daily routine and suddenly the end of the month comes and there's no money for the house payment.

Cindy and I were in a situation a few years ago where a mortgage broker was trying his hardest to get us into a "New Kind Of Home Loan" from Washington Mutual. After a few meetings, we both felt that the whole program not only felt irresponsible, but it crossed the line and was downright sleazy.

Needless to say, we were very relieved to NOT be impacted by WaMu's meltdown a couple weeks ago.

So here's the deal: Maybe, JUST MAYBE... Situations you find yourself in ARE, at least a little, YOUR OWN FAULT! If you have tried losing weight and failed, TRY AGAIN, AND TRY HARDER! Man... I've lost nearly 50 pounds in the past 18 months or so. I still have another 20-30 to go before I reach my final goal. By the original timeline I'd worked out, I should have reached that already. But the fact of the matter is, IT'S HARD! And it's nobody's fault but my own, that I haven't gotten there yet. The difference is, I realize, and accept this. Rather than call some toll free number from an ad promising that IT'S NOT MY FAULT, I was up at 4:30 this morning playing racketball. I'm ignoring the movie theater butter popcorn in the breakroom. I'm making small changes in my lifestyle that will compound over time to get me where I want to be.

The general state of society today is one of no responsibility. Not for their kids, not for themselves, not for their jobs, their commitments... It's all about what they can get the easy way. That laptop you can get just by calling this toll free number is going to cost you about three times what you'd spend by saving up for a couple months and hitting Office Depot on the Monday after their latest ad hits.

Here's another nugget o' wisdom: JUST BECAUSE THEY OFFER YOU A LOAN, OR A CREDIT CARD, DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD TAKE IT! While the "predatory lenders" love to fill my mailbox with "pre-approved" credit card offers, they can't stop me from taking those offers over to the shredder and making some confetti.

I really hope that the financial shakedown going on will result in a wake-up call to the basic responsibilities of life. Because unless you're talking about natural disasters or freak accidents, most of the stuff people are all hysterical about is very much SOMEBODY'S fault.

The Tastebud Alert System

I am very thankful for a powerful protector that I have in my life. It protects me from dangers most people never even realize are there, or may see them but have no idea just how dangerous they are.

My protector is my tongue.

Well, specifically, the taste buds ON my tongue.

I've mentioned before that I'm rather adventurous with the foods I eat, and I'm good to try anything once, as long as it's not TOO disgusting in concept or presentation... My tongue is always happy to try these new things - the taste buds are always open to new experiences.

But there are certain substances that they can detect on impact, setting off a warning system like the ones throughout the Puyallup valley that are there to warn of a Mt. Rainier eruption. This alarm is so intense that it's almost painful to endure, which is my clear sign that whatever recently entered my mouth must NEVER enter it again. With a reaction that strong, I know that it's not just a "matter of taste"... No, it's got to be that a life-threatening substance has crossed my lips, and I am being given fair warning by my protector so that I can shut off the supply before any serious damage is done.

This system is effective enough that it is known as the Tastebud Alert System.

What foods set off the alert?

One of the worst offenders is pictured here:


NOT ALL, JUST GREEN AND ORANGE
I don't know why they even MAKE the nasty green and orange ones!

SOME varieties of orange candies are okay, in fact I actually like the Brach's orange slices. But for every other candy that comes in colours (except for M&M's, where the colour truly doesn't matter) I can not STAND the orange and green ones.

Mike & Ike? Red and Yellow are delightful! Orange and green are "for the kids" or even "for the garbage can." Dots, Jujyfruits, Skittles and Starburst? Same thing. Tastebud Alert System goes off, complete with the notification that this is not a test.

Back when my beloved Mad Jack's was in business, they always had a "Mystery Flavor" in the freezer. They'd give you a free spoonful and see if you could identify it. One time I took my bite and immediately recognized the same horrible artificial flavoring that's in all the green (and often the orange) candies. I made a twisted face, and when they asked me what flavor I thought it was, I just said something about how much I hate that awful artificial citrus flavor. It turned out to be Cherry-Lime, but all I could taste was that nastiness.

My tastebuds seem to be hyper-sensitive to tastes that I really hate, and I assume this is because they're actually really bad for me and it's a defense mechanism. Someday when it's confirmed that all artificially orange and lime flavored candy actually contains alien DNA and that 85% of the population is being transformed into big-eyed, grey-skinned human eaters, I will be left to say that I told you so!

There are other foods that get the same reaction, in fact maybe an even stronger reaction. Top of that list?


CILANTRO
As far as I'm concerned, this stuff isn't even food. And I can taste even the smallest amounts in a larger recipe as if I was chewing on a big ol' leaf of it. It sets off the Tastebud Alert System, and even my nose gets in on the action. I don't think I've ever been able to actually describe the feeling so I'll just say that it's the kind of negative reaction that lets you know you've stumbled across some seriously heinous evil, and you should endeavour to stay far, far away in the future.

There are others, but I have definitely covered the two largest ones. Like I said, I'm not really picky - quite the opposite actually! Which just serves to further my case against these two items.

Now you've seen the evidence. You possess the facts. You can make your own decisions from here on out. This concludes this test of the Tastebud Alert System.

Resume Torture

Long time readers will recall that back in May, I told the tale of the torturous radio situation at work.

Other than the ever-present problem of bad commercials, the musical atmosphere in the office had improved dramatically, courtesy of 96.5, Jack-FM.

A few days ago though, I started hearing rumblings that “the girls” in the office, who outnumber me, started talking about wanting to go back to “Star 101.5”. I really hoped they’d just kinda forget about it.

This morning as I entered the office, I caught the tail end of “This Love” by Maroon 5. Bad sign. Jack never really showed a whole lotta love for M5. Star, on the other hand, just can’t play enough of them. I put my lunch in the fridge, and sat down at my desk. Natasha Bedingfield was playing. Crap. I didn’t realize just how much I enjoyed NOT hearing her voice for the past four months. Then there was about 10 minutes of inane morning show jibba jabba. Oh boy oh boy, it’s “Therapy Thursday” where rejects from the trailer parks of the area call in to the radio station with their problems and let the sheeple listening tell them what to do.

Today’s topic? The mother of a 13 year old girl. The 13 year old girl wants to pierce her belly button. Since Mom appears to have never really established any of those uncomfortable and unwanted BOUNDARIES, or taught her daughter that she needs to respect and obey her mother, the daughter felt that she had the right to make a deal with her mom. The deal was that if girl gets good grades in the coming school year, mom will take her to the piercing pagoda and sign a waiver.

Mom made it clear that SHE didn’t like this idea… But did she put her foot down and remind girl that 13 year olds don’t call all the shots? No. She called Kent & Allen so they could ask the listeners of their unoriginal, incredibly repetitive programming for advice.

The first call that came in while I was in the torture chamber at my desk was from a 61 year old woman who was all for it. She proudly listed off all of her piercings and tattoos. From the sound of her speech, she MIGHT even have one or two teeth left in her mouth. Excellent role model for the kids.

Next up was a woman who I suspect is trapped in a captive listening situation like me, who tried to stress that the mom needs to be practicing a little thing called PARENTING, and that if the girl feels she “deserves” this at 13, what’s she going to decide her next indisputable right is? Oh, that call doesn’t generate enough drama, so they quickly cut her off.

Well of course they cut her off! They haven’t played any NICKLEBACK for at least 20 minutes! Gotta resolve that ASAP!!

OK… So even leaving the wretched “Therapy Thursday” out of it, Star 101.5 is the “Young and the Restless” of the radio world. It’s been four months since I last listened to this station in any way. I’ve been at work for 90 minutes. There has been ONE song played since I got here that wasn’t getting played back in April. Also, I’ve heard Maroon 5 twice already. Nickleback only once, but I bet if I’d gotten here a little earlier, it would have been twice too. Just as Victor, Nikki and Jack are endlessly scheming on CBS in the mid-morning, Star 101.5 endlessly plays the same 35 songs from the early 21^st century over and over ad nauseum. It’s even more painful than it was before, having tasted the freedom of a larger playlist with NO DJs AT ALL.

My Head Hurts. And I know there’s a time bomb ticking before the one song I loathe above all others, gwen stefani’s “sweet escape” comes on. Hmmmm…. Maybe time for a fire alarm test??

UPDATE: 2 Hours and 15 minutes after arriving, Maroon 5 song number three is playing...

ANOTHER UPDATE: High Noon now, and M5 song number four is droning on... The pavement outside my window is looking warm and comforting...

Cruel and Unusual

Many people consider one of the little perks of a job, being able to listen to the radio at work. I had that “perk” when I worked at Pizza Hut, but my following jobs in the music field supplied their own soundtracks, and then my first couple I.T. jobs were in offices where there was no music of any kind piped in, but I was always able to listen to my own music so it worked out great. Then I landed at my current job, and we actually have a pretty respectable office sound system! Woo! The default station was KPLZ, aka Star 101.5, playing “the best mix of everything”. For the first month or so this worked out okay. I had been somewhat out of touch with mainstream radio so it was actually kind of refreshing to let someone else do the driving and just listen.

Well, in all honesty, it was nice for about a week.

I started this job in September of 2006. One of the first things I noticed after a few days of listening to the radio, was that “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield was played 3 to 4 times during each and every workday. This was puzzling to me, because I remembered seeing her perform it on the Thanksgiving Day Parade in 2005. Turns out the song was actually released in July 2005. Yet to the overlords at Star, it was still one of Today’s Hottest Hits! As of a month ago when I was finally successful in lobbying for a station change, it was still being played, on average, three times between 8am and 5pm. They may have slowed it down for a few weeks, to only playing once or twice per day, but it has been in constant rotation for what is now approaching three years. This is just one of the less annoying examples. Those complete wastes of airwaves, Gwen Stefani’s “Sweet Escape” and “Hollaback Girl” are truly painful to listen to even once. Drill them in to someone 4 times a day (each) for 9 months, and the idea of taking a shotgun to the overhead speaker was getting very tempting. It actually got so bad that I kept a log for a week of what they played, and it was very eye-opening to me and others in the office. Apparently the other had kinda noticed that they played lots of repetition but hadn’t actually realized that it was ROTTING THEIR BRAINS AWAY FROM THE INSIDE OUT painfully annoying.

Luckily, thanks to my educational efforts, one day about a month ago, our HR manager came over and asked me if I’d go switch it to Jack because she couldn’t handle being tortured by Gwen Stefani (it was really hard to show her the respect of capitalizing her name) any more. At the end of the day, everyone agreed that it was a switch for the better, and we’ve been Jacked at work ever since. Just as I’m typing this, they just went from The Blues Brothers to Def Leppard, and we haven’t had a song repeat during the same day since we started listening. It would be just about perfect if only…

...if only...

…if only they handled their ads the same way they handle their music!

I know that they need to play the ads to get the revenue to keep playing what they want. That’s fine. My real problem lies with the advertisers themselves, who seem to take the Star philosophy to heart, and hammer us over the heads with the most brainless advertisements imaginable. Sadly, this trend also built over the 18 months of pre-Jack listening. Before I go into the ad that’s really under my skin (like those alien take-over-til-you-die worms from the X-Files) I’ll say that I am VERY happy that Jack has mostly different ad clients than Star did. But they have one prominent one in common: Weisfield Jewelers.

For many years, Weisfield had pretty decent ads… Classic jingle-based ads that were actually pretty decent stand-alone tunes. Then a year or two ago, they decided that they didn’t want people singing their jingle, they wanted people cursing their very presence on the Earth. And they produced a series of ads where a girl named “Lisa” is gushing to her girlfriend about her amazing new Earrings/Necklace/Bracelet/Ring. (fyi, it JUST came on right now…) As soon as Lisa’s friend says she can’t believe how gorgeous this jewelry is, Lisa says “I Know!” and then we cut to her husband Brian, who is in a bowling alley with his guy friend, telling him about how Lisa was speechless when he gave her the Weisfield jewels. It cuts back and forth with Lisa telling her girlfriend all about how she received her amazing gift. Inevitably, she says something like “as soon as I saw the Weisfield box…” at which time she is interrupted by the girlfriend who demands to know, “How did he know about Weisfield?” Then it cuts to the bowling alley, where Brian tell his good friend that his Dad told him about Weisfield. Or rather his mom told his dad to tell him. We men couldn’t be trusted to find our way to Weisfield without our mommy’s help. Ya know, because, like there isn't a Weisfield in EVERY SINGLE MALL IN THE NORTHWEST...

Then he – right there in the bowling alley – tells his manly chum that after Lisa was speechless, she “started getting all teary-eyed, and I’m thinking thank you Dad, for recommending Weisfield.” Not only is that a completely ridiculous line for two guys out bowling, he says it with such a phony smiley smarminess that it comes off sounding completely, uncomfortably, undeniably, GAY. To top that off, Lisa’s girlfriend says “I still can’t imagine YOU being speechless…” and Lisa says “well just look at the earrings (or) necklace (or) bracelet (or) ring!” To which the girlfriend does the audio-equivalent of melting into a puddle of plumbing sludge and says “Yeaahhhh…”

If you haven’t gone off to vomit yet, thanks for staying with me. This ad constitutes cruel and unusual punishment. With Mother’s Day only days away, it’s in heavy rotation all over the radio dial. They always ramp up the airtime when there’s a gift-giving event aimed at women coming up. Hopefully after this weekend they’ll give it a rest for a while.

But on the music side, things are great! Just heard Nirvana, Supertramp, and now Genesis. Haven’t heard Natasha or Gwen all week, and I’m not missing them one bit!

A Run In With Society's Scum

What a Monday...

When I went to take Ellysa to school this morning, she was getting in the car and said "wow, nice chip on the door handle!"

I had heard a rock hit the car last Friday, but didn't get a chip on the windshield, so I thought it must have hit the side, and made a dent on the door handle. When I got to work I walked over to the passenger side and looked, and it didn't look like something caused by a flying rock. It looked like something caused by an idiot trying to pry the lock off the door.

I tried to tell myself that was just paranoia, and that it must have been a real fluke of physics for that flying rock to chip off that piece of the handle.

Then Cindy IM'd me and said "someone got into the van last night..." and I got that sick feeling in my gut that said "that was no rock chip..." Left work to meet with the police at the house. The van was apparently left unlocked last night, which at least saved us from any amateurish attempts at breaking in, so we only have one car in need of body work now. But what they did do to the van pretty much defies any logic at all.

This is what the van looked like when Cindy went out there today. Sitting on the passenger seat, that's the DVD player that normally lives under the center console. On top of the center console is the power inverter, which also lives below. Both were taken out, but neither was actually taken. The new stereo in the dashboard is still there. The glove box was open, and a stack of CDs that had gotten too scratched to play were gone. Several other CDs (mostly Christmas discs) were still there. The change in the ashtray was gone, as was the ashtray insert. Apparently that was easier than taking just the change. Then you look up...

And there's supposed to be a mirror there in between the sun visors. At least they left our registration and insurance cards... But the mirror?? Seriously?? Oh. Yeah. There had been a necklace hanging from it. An admittedly cheap diamond heart necklace, the kind that you get coupons for before every holiday for between $49 and $99. Again, rather than simply lift the necklace over the mirror, it was more fun to rip the mirror off the windshield.

All this made me go back and take another look at my car, not only to double-verify that nothing was taken, but also to see what was so alluring that they'd try to get in.

Hmmm... Factory stereo, cell phone charger, bluetooth headset, and a couple CDs. Oh, and my gym bag complete with racketball racket and ball, shoes, socks, shirt and shorts was in the back seat. They were so close to the jackpot, but couldn't get the door handle to pop off. At this point, I really want to start calling the low-life punks several names that I shouldn't say here.

So in review: We have minor damage and minor property loss. The kind of thing that's too small to report to the insurance company, though we did file a police report. The cop said that we were the 4th people to call this morning with similar reports. I've bought a replacement door/lock assembly for my car from eBay, but will need to enlist a body shop to install and paint it. I'm confident I'll be able to find the mirror and ashtray insert for the van without too much expense or trouble. And they pulled a wire loose from the inverter, so I've got a little touch-up to do there too. And yet, the feeling of violation is still there. I've spent the rest of the day looking at low light security cameras, and fantasizing about if I'd only gotten my hands (and maybe a shovel) on the punks in action.

To any potential punks reading this, here's a quick primer that will help you in life:

IF SOMETHING IS NOT YOURS, YOU DO NOT GET TO SIMPLY TAKE IT OR DAMAGE IT. LEAVE IT ALONE. SERIOUSLY.

Thank you.

In Like A Lion, Out Like A Polar Bear

Ahh, March 27th. Daylight Savings time started long enough ago that we're well adjusted, it's even light at 7:00 am again... St. Patrick's day has come and gone... This year, even Easter is behind us! The first day of Spring was one whole week ago.

So Why... WHY, I ask, was this picture taken this morning in somewhere that doesn't end with "Alaska", "Colorado", or "Greenland"?

This was taken this morning in Black Diamond, maybe 20 miles southeast of Seattle. Their school is delayed by two hours today. Oh, and they have Spring Break NEXT WEEK.

I am appalled, disgusted, and ...uhhh... doubly appalled. And we darn well better get a real summer this year to make up for this nonsense.

New, but Not Improved

Cindy and I have developed a rather strong love/hate relationship with Costco over the past year or two... The love part is the same thing everyone loves about Costco - great prices on quality merchandise, and the smug ability to say "I got it at Costco... Oh? You don't have a Costco membership?? Pity..." Well, OK, not so much the smugness, but pretty much all Costco members agree that there is a lot to love.

However, I'm willing to bet that there's also a growing population that has been having the same problem that we do... Basically, as soon as we get hooked on a product, it either disappears completely, or is replaced by another product that is similar, but different enough to NOT be what we want.

A few examples:

• For centuries (or at least several years) Costco had a big plastic bear shaped container filled with animal crackers that were tasty, and at a really good price. Since we have a daycare running in our house, that was a regular purchase, and the kids loved them at snack time. About a year ago, it was replaced with Winnie the Pooh Organic Animal cookies. The jar is about 1/3 the size of the old one, yet the price stayed the same or went up. On the plus side, the new cookies are organic, and are crazy delicious, so we grumble softly and buy 'em anyway.
  
• Another long standing Costco staple, especially with the Daycare in mind, was their big ol' case o' PopTarts. Half brown sugar cinnamon, half strawberry, all frosted, all insanely full of yum. Unfortunately, the non-organic nature of PopTarts caught up with them, and Costco replaced them with a smaller box of Nature's Path Toaster Pastries, or some other completely un-fun name for un-good tasting poptart wannabes. Hoping for similar results that the cookies had, we bought them. The kids were NOT amused. The garbage filled up with toaster pastries with one or two courtesy bites taken from them. Oh, and the price stayed the same or increased slightly.

Which brings us to the real reason we're having this little informal chat...

The bottle on the left is likely recognized by everyone out there. It's the store-brand shampoo that Costco has carried pretty much since the beginning of time. The bottle on the right is, you guessed it, the new version. On first glance, I thought they pulled their usual "new, smaller packaging" trick, but despite the different shape, the new bottle still holds 40 ounces of shampooey goodness. Well, minus the goodness. Let's review what we have always known about Costco's generic shampoo:

• Smells Good, like Shampoo Should
• Leaves hair feeling clean and fresh, for bouncin' & behavin' hair

The new version has the following attributes:

• Smells like play-doh. Oh there are shampoo overtones, but it smells like play-doh.
• Leaves hair feeling stripped, like you're in the Tri-Cities without a water softener.

Way to go, Costco. At this rate, there are so few things we really like about you, we're considering not renewing our elite membership, and just doing our bulk shopping at Cash 'n' Carry. I mean, even Fred Meyer's been beating your gas prices on a regular basis!

Oh, almost forgot. There is still one thing the two Shampoos have perfectly in common:

Don't leave them unattended in the upper reaches of your shower, or they'll decapitate themselves while you're rinsing the lather from your hair!!