Chipmunk Rock!

Back in high school, I was pretty big into New Wave music. My source of all things Wave-y was KJET, a low power station all the way at the right edge of the AM dial. It took some getting used to, listening to music on AM, but the KJET guys helped out by mocking themselves, often describing themselves as "coming through the two-inch speaker."

One day while driving home from school, they played a new song from The Alarm, called "Absolute Reality." I LOVED IT! I checked my local record store, and was bummed to discover that the group didn't have a new album out, so I couldn't get that song. I called the station - oh, for the days when you could actually call the station and get useful information - and they said it was an import, and that Easy Street Records in Bellevue had it. Well, as luck would have it, I lived in Bellevue at the time, and Easy Street was even close to my house!

The next day after school I took a detour to Easy Street Records and picked up my hot new import 12" single by The Alarm. I got home... Took the record out of the cover... Carefully put it on the turntable... Gently dropped the needle in the groove...

...and almost immediately got the sense that something was wrong! It was the right song, but it just didn't sound right! Somehow, it sounded better coming through the two-inch speaker on KJET than it did coming through my awesome stereo system.

The next year I was in the Radio Broadcasting program at Bellevue High, and learned that most broadcast equipment had a switch on the back to increase the speed by 2%. Psychologically, it wasn't enough to really notice that it was faster, but it did hit your ears as fresher and more energetic. I immediately thought back to my Alarm experience. Since I didn't have a variable speed turntable, I did a little hackery to get the desired result. Soon enough, I had that song on a tape in my car, sounding just like it had on KJET, only with the clarity of NOT being on AM Radio.

For the next several years, nearly everything I recorded for myself and others was slightly sped up, to utilize the same benefits that the radio stations used.

Okay, now don't groan, but I told you all that because of (say it with me now) The Radio At Work! In this digital age, it seems that the practice of stations speeding up the music has died off... But a couple days ago, I noticed that songs on JACK had that little 2%-ish boost. I kinda chuckled to myself and remembered my experience back in high school.

Now, ever since JACK started up in Seattle, they've done promos for themselves where they take snippets from a bunch of different songs and force them to match a constant backbeat. Kinda like Stars on 45, for those of us old enough to remember that... (note to self: Stars on 45 for Song of the Day??) Those promos often resulted in songs sounding comically fast, but still recognizable.

This morning, EVERYTHING is being played that fast. The 2% switch is, I would guess, at least 5%, quite possibly even 7 or 8 percent. The intro to "Hurts So Good" sounded like "That Thing You Do!" Stevie Wonder's "I Wish" sounded like a comic parody of itself.

I doubt they intended for it to be so ridiculously sped up, and since it's a completely automated drone station, as long as there's sound going over the air, the Engineers-R-Us guys don't have a reason to actually listen and notice that the Chipmunks are taking over. So it may not last... But if you're in the Seattle area today, turn on 96.5 FM and enjoy the high energy classic hits! If you're out of town, you can listen live at jackseattle.com - just click on the Listen Live button right below the logo. Just be warned - they've got issues today! When I clicked on it to test it just now, it started playing "Alice FM 97.3" from some other market. I closed that and re-tried and it brought up SpeedyJack.

If this new SpeedyJack format is intentional, it's the biggest judgement failure in Seattle radio since "Young Country" had all their DJs talking through an echo box. Hey wait, that was also on 96.5... Could the frequency be cursed??

UPDATE: SpeedyJack is back to Just Jack. Apparently they read my blog too!